Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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