So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
