eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
