how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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