I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
