pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So vagazzling was a success
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
