I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think your dad took our porno
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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