I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize
