Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
