Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
