Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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