Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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