Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
