Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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