I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
