woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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