We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
