Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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