The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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