dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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