So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
How naked do you want me to be?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
