Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
