Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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