no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
