Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
