you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
