I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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