I intend to get homeless drunk
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
