i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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