Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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