I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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