just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
