It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
