I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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