I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
