Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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