Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
