is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
