so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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