Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
