How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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