3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
