he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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