idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
