so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
