The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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