Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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