Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
