It's Friday. Sex?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
