I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
